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Hi, I'm actor Troy McClure. You may remember me from such websites as "403--Forbidden?" and "Click Here, or we'll erase your hard drive." The world wide web used to be a good excuse for hemorrhoids; but when was the last time you bought "A-hems!" medicated cream or "'Rhoids of London" soothing ointment? If it's been a while, get ready for the sorest sit of your life... The website we are about to show you contains original ideas, exciting interactive features and endless Multimedia. But don't take my word for it. Let's talk to the inventor of "I Can't Believe it's a Simpsons Site!" Doctor Nick Riviera! Hi, Troy! Hi, everybody! Dr. Nick, are we "crazy" to assume that this site is really that great? DISCUSS SECTION Yes you are, Troy. But crazy meaning "smart", because you can tell people how you feel about The Simpsons in my patent rejected Topics area. If you're a Simpsons guru, and have considered bragging, add to our original lists of useless facts. If you don't know anything and you crave propaganda, you can flaunt your stupidity in our own Q & A section: Humor Explained. That's all well and good for the thinking person, Dr. Nick, but what of the artists, unsupervised children and house-trained monkeys? Is there nothing for them to do? INTERACT SECTION You're way ahead of me, Troy. Of course not. But if you like games, Simpsons fanscripts, and wacky Simpsons sounds scaring the hell out of you each time you open a window, we can help. And if you're the ambitious type (you know who you are!) you can write your own Simpsons scripts, do impersonations of Simpsons characters, and even design your own webpage. *GASP* No! Okay, you're right. So I lied. There's no need to be ambitious. You can even enter your Simpsons scripts in our contest, or see our Simpsons pop-up FAQ. The wild colors alone will induce hallucinations! And don't forget the scriptwriting page, where my embarrassing letters to John Swartzwelder were answered. MULTIMEDIA SECTION But, Doctor Nick, I don't have a frame-grabber. And if I do, I don't have the time to use it! Can you help me get that picture of Bart dropping his pantaloons? Su-u-u-ure, Troy. It's all included in my special Multimedia area. Stop wasting time doing original artwork. It's all been done FOR you! There are even some special files we can't talk about, or we'll have our heads lopped off. That wacky network of ours! They won't even allow these types of files. But Doctor Nick, I'm feeling a bit bored. What can I do? LINKS SECTION Well, next to this site, not very many sites are worse. That is why I've included links to 20 hot sites in my hot links area. I said "Do better than this!" And many have done. And, if that weren't enough, search for any of 1200+ reviewed Simpsons sites with our link search. But Doctor, I'm pretty P.O.'ed. You said you'd have all the pages on ICBIASS up by the 27th of September. What's the matter with you? FEEDBACK SECTION Tell it to the judge. Er, I mean, send all your aggression to us. We'll take it, and even thank you for your abuse. |